with all this passionate grudge

that mounts a desire to hold-on

and subtle craving to break free

i was torn in an obtuse dilemma

for a temporary relief i embrace the idea

to punish myself


with all the pain infused

suffered and enjoyed

in every inflicted sting

at my back,

my temple

and my groin

was made to justify,

personify and validate 

my cowardice and longing

my idiocy to return

my thirst for aches-

in a century of wistful asunder  

 and an allegory of illusive pleasure

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